No tips or thoughts about organizing this month. Instead, in celebration of Mother’s Day, I am honoring my mother, Eva Amalia (1926-1994), by sharing memories of how she indirectly influenced my decision to become a professional organizer. Additionally, fellow professional organizers from across the country have joined me in sharing their memories of their moms.
I am an only child and my mother was a single, working mom. As I grew up, I was the one who kept our home tidy. While I don’t remember being asked to do it, it never seemed to be a chore to me because I enjoyed putting things away. After my mother married my stepfather, she discovered a new pastime — estate and garage sales. Occasionally, I would go with her, but I never enjoyed it. It seemed to me to be such a waste of time. Looking back I realized that they were both children of the Depression and enjoyed acquiring stuff. Regardless, their home remained tidy. After their deaths, it took me a year to clean out their house. By the time it was done, I was determined not to let the same thing happen to my children. Thus, the seed to become a professional organizer was planted. I love you, Mamá!
And now, here are my colleagues’ memories.
I’m the youngest of eight and on my marketing materials for my business I write “As the youngest of 8 my mom was the first Professional Organizer I knew.” I grew up in a 1650 sq. ft. home for a family of 10 people and laundry could have been a challenge, but not with my mom. She labeled everything with old-fashioned masking tape especially in our tiny laundry area. The washer/dryer were housed behind folding doors with 2 wooden shelves above those appliances. The shelves were labeled with each kid’s name and once the laundry was complete it was put on the shelf. Two things it taught me as a young kid was how to stay organized and taking responsibility to go get my laundry. She never brought it to our rooms or placed it on our beds — we had to go get it. Laurie Malloy, Fayetteville AR
“Stick with your strengths”. I applied that advice when I made the decision 10 years ago to be Professional Organizer after 25 years in corporate America. Sharon Lowenheim, New York, NY
My mom would suddenly announce that company was coming and we need to get the house picked up RIGHT NOW. Just the other day she asked me if I remembered that ploy to get us in gear! Susan Gardner, Hermitage, TN
I lost my mom January 18, 2004. She was far too young and so was I, and I find it interesting that in the twelve years since her passing, I think of her almost every day. Sometimes I hear myself saying something that sounds just like her, or I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror that resembles her. Sometimes I think of her because of a childhood lesson I learned from her and very often it’s when I’m tending to my plants and flowers because she and I have the same insatiable curiosity about nature. As for organizing, one might say my mom was a clutter-bug so I didn’t get my organizing sensibilities from her. She loved and collected antiques of all kinds. I remember hating it when she would drag me along to the flea markets — even then, the clutter of the all the tables overflowing with STUFF made me jittery — but she had a really good eye for knowing what was worth picking up and what was just “old junk.”
Many of the pillars I live by came from my mom. Some were verbally expressed lessons while others I learned by observing her character. “What goes around comes around” was one of her favorites, as was “The world doesn’t owe you anything.” She reinforced over and over again by her words and actions that we are not here to take from others, but to pull our own weight in the world, to do our part and stand on our own two feet. She could stretch a dollar until it screamed and for better or worse, that frugal streak has shaped who I am.
As I get older I appreciate more and more how difficult her life must have been. She went to work right out of high school, ended up an unwed mother twice in the sixties. She gave up one of those children for adoption, she then married, had another child and divorced before she was 35 and lived the rest of her life as a single working mother. She wasn’t the kind of mom who baked cookies and cheered me on at the drum corps show. She didn’t help me with my homework, iron my clothes or send me off to school with a freshly packed sandwich and a love note. She was too busy working to keep the lights on, food in the fridge, stretching those dollars and keeping her kids on the straight and narrow. Work was always first priority and leisure time was only and always second. Always.
Upon reflection, I realize the overarching theme of my childhood home was self-sufficiency, personal responsibility and doing what’s right. She always said, “As long as I have my peace of mind, I’m happy.” One of my few regrets is that while she was alive, I never expressed to her specifically and authentically, just how grateful I was for the sacrifices she made and for the grace with which she handled the circumstances that shaped her life. Monica Ricci, Mableton, GA
My memories of my mom don’t really relate directly to organizing. She liked to entertain like I do and I remember being told not to put candles on the table if you are not going to light them and to count the sterling silver when you put it away (before you take out the trash). Every time I put candles on the table or put away my silver I think of my mom. It makes me wonder what my boys will remember about me. Maybe I should ask them now. Cheryl Larson, Clarksburg, MD
My mother’s phrase is still, “if you only spent 15 minutes a day on a project you will eventually get it done.” Beth Ruck, Cadillac, MI
My mother was an artist with a great sense of humor. Her forte had nothing to do with organizing, though. She did teach me an important organizing lesson in spite of herself: “A place for everything and everything in its place.” I learned the lesson by the fact that every time we would leave the house, we three children had to search for fifteen minutes for her wallet, keys, and sunglasses!
My daughter called when I started to respond to your email, and told her how I was going to respond. She told me that the best organizing lesson she learned from me was “Do it now!” That was a constant refrain while raising my children. My husband, however, stands firm by his own refrain, his use of what I call the “L” word…”Later!” Susan Taylor, Knox, ME
Growing up, my mom always had us make our lunches and pick out our outfits at night for the next day. Since we all had to get up and out the door early, these few steps helped make for smooth mornings, and taught me about being organized from a young age! Susan Duval, Newtown, CT
I lost my mother at a tender age of 21 when I needed her wisdom so very much. My mother’s words of “organizing” wisdom were “Be sure to make your bed. You never know if someone may drop by unexpectedly.” And, at the end of every evening, she would tidy up the place (like fold up the sofa’s afghan, water glasses in the dishwasher instead of the sink). When I asked her why she did these things, she told me that in the morning everything will look like new and not such a mess to have to start out with for the day. Teresa James, Memphis, TN
I grew up in a house with clutter, BUT things were clean, I mean take everything out of a room and clean it 2x a year, wash walls clean. This history reminds me that people tolerate things differently. I do not tolerate clutter, but I am a bit more relaxed about how things get cleaned.
I wrote thanking my mom and the various other moms in my life for what they have taught me (grandmas, my mother-in-law, etc.). As I wrote about each specific thing, I noticed something. Self Sufficiency! Carri LaCroix Pan, Niskayuna NY
My mom (and dad) gave me one of the greatest gifts — one you’ll all be able to relate to — the gift of organization!!! My parents were both highly organized and neat. From a very young age, I was taught to put toys, clothes and well, everything, where they belonged after I finished using them. A couple of minutes before it was time for the family to leave to go somewhere, my dad had the car running outside. That drove my mom and me crazy but I learned to be punctual. And so on. As you guys know, being organized makes life So Much Easier. Unfortunately neither parent lived long enough to know that I founded An Organized Approach based on everything they taught me. My mom also taught me to be independent and strong like she was. I lost her in 1994 and my dad in 1993 and miss them both terribly. But I’m grateful for the time I had them. Adriane Weinberg, Ambler PA
I appreciate that my Mother was patient. As I a teenager my bedroom was chaos. School, work, and friends – everything was more important than keeping my room tidy. My Mom kept everything else in our home in perfect order. Instead of battling me, nagging or doing it herself, she let it go. I think she appreciated that my day began at 5:30 am in order to get a shower before school – since all 5 of us shared the one bathroom, and ended after working until 10 pm and then doing homework. She requested that I keep the door closed when I wasn’t home (my room could be seen by everyone) and to have it clean when company was coming to stay over (my bedroom also served as the guest room). Mom did not give up on my room ever being clean. It was years later that I realized my great aunt would come down to stay with us – every 4-6 weeks! Heather Ahern, Bridgewater MA
My mom’s favorite saying. Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you. Ellen R. Delap,
My mom and her BFF used to go out on Friday nights to the “watering hole” ( I thought that was the actual name of the place), and they would share “pearls of wisdom” or “pearlies” (their word!) One was that, “sometimes you just need to toot your own horn! ” as in be proud of your accomplishments and don’t t be afraid to share them. Another was when going through a tough patch with people, she would say, “you just need to scrape your foot and move on”. I use both of these with my own friends and even my kids. Maria White, Ashburn, VA
I appreciate that my Mother was patient. As I a teenager my bedroom was chaos. School, work, and friends – everything was more important than keeping my room tidy. My Mom kept everything else in our home in perfect order. Instead of battling me, nagging or doing it herself, she let it go. I think she appreciated that my day began at 5:30 am in order to get a shower before school – since all 5 of us shared the one bathroom, and ended after working until 10 pm and then doing homework. She requested that I keep the door closed when I wasn’t home (my room could be seen by everyone) and to have it clean when company was coming to stay over (my bedroom also served as the guest room). Mom did not give up on my room ever being clean. It was years later that I realized my great aunt would come down to stay with us – every 4-6 weeks!
Most importantly my Mother taught me to be grateful. She grew up without a lot of materialistic things, so she had very little empathy for any extravagant wants. It is hard to plead your case for a Barbie Dream House with someone who grew up in a rural part of Canada, using an outhouse for much of her childhood. She taught us to be grateful for those “things” that we did have but also the intangibles – for health, family, friends and the many blessing I see people take for granted every day. This mind-set certainly helps when working with clients. I may not use the word gratitude, but I always steer the conversation back to a positive place – keeping them from getting caught up in negative self-talk or Poor Me Syndrome while we work. Heather Ahern, Bridgewater MA
I grew up in a house with clutter, BUT things were clean, I mean take everything out of a room and clean it 2x a year, wash walls clean. This history reminds me that people tolerate things differently. I do not tolerate clutter, but I am a bit more relaxed about how things get cleaned.
I wrote thanking my mom and the various other mom’s in my life for what they have taught me (grandmas, my mother-in-law, etc). As I wrote about each specific thing, I noticed something. Self Sufficiency! Carri LaCroix Pan, Niskayuna NY
When we came home from a car trip, my Mom always said, “everyone carry something.” No matter how tired we were, if we were awake enough to walk, we had to carry something into the house.
She also sent us out into the world with this phrase, “be safe, be good, and have a good time…in that order!” Maureen De Garmo. Concord CA
My favorite momism was, “I hope you won’t judge me by my last mistake.” Karen Roorda, San Francisco, CA
My mother was the first person I heard say the following: “A place for everything, and everything in its place”
This saying ultimately brought me to the place of becoming a professional organizer.
On a personal note; Mother’s day is bitter/sweet for me. My mother passed way right after my 10th birthday (five months after my father died). I’m very thankful to God for a woman I met later in life who lost a daughter in child birth the same year I was born. She adopted me as a daughter and I adopted her as my mom. We’ve had a relationship for 18 years now and although she has 5 biological daughters she always makes me feel like I’m the one and only. Beauty for ashes. Annette Williams, Indian Trail NC
My mother used to tell me to “put some color on my lips” when I was feeling down or needed a pick me up. I always marveled how she could put lipstick on perfectly without looking in the mirror. When she developed Alzheimer’s disease she somehow was still able to do this task, even well into the symptoms of the disease. I still reach for my lipstick to perk up my mood, and most of all, to remember my mom. Suzanne Lourie, Charlotte VT
I am eternally grateful that what my Mom said most often was “Yes”. Unless it would obviously cause harm, my Mom let all 5 of us try anything we wanted to try and it instilled in each of us an innate confidence that we could do anything. If you look at her 5 kids today:
- My older brother has a Masters Degree in theater arts, lives in MD and has traveled the world with his wife who has a Masters in Relief Agency Work.
- Then me who – having just graduated from UCONN with a degree in botany – packed everything in the back of my Pinto station wagon and drove 3000 miles – by my self – and built my entrepreneurial life in the Pacific Northwest because the freeway I was on ended in Portland, OR. Mom said ‘yes’ to that where many Mom’s would have said otherwise.
- My middle brother had both a naval and high tech career and is now in VA with his family.
- My younger sister learned computer programming at one of CT’s insurance company and just recently completed the BA and MA in computer programming that were not available in college all those years ago – she and her family are in OH.
- My youngest sister is in MA now but having lived on both coasts is one of the top computer network designers.
I ‘assume’ I can do it… build a life 3000 miles from home, run a business because office politics cost me a career, make pottery, sell my photos, create glass art, and a thousand other activities I’ve done over the years….. because my Mom favorite saying was “yes”. Susan Lannis, Washougal WA
I am grateful that my Mom was a Mom of many hats! (Something I wasn’t always grateful for!) Because of that I knew I could do and be anything I wanted to be. She was not only a wife but mother of 6, League of Women Voters president, Girl Scout Leader, Church Leader, Prayer Chain organizer, GranAnn to 13 grand kids, substitute teacher and volunteer to ANYTHING that needed doing. As I type I no longer wonder what her organizing lessons were…in order to do all that, she had to be organized! I am so grateful ~ as her lessons have served me well!
I love reading these stories about your Mom’s! I just lost my Mom on April 9th and the service won’t be until May 7th (Mother’s Day weekend) so I’m very much in the stage of reflecting about her. Thanks for a place to do that! Sue DeRoos, Macomb, IL
What a lovely exercise – am enjoying reading everyone’s memories.
One of my mother’s sayings that I think of often is “start the way you mean to continue”. The times I don’t follow that advice are the times I get myself into trouble. So many problems can be avoided by managing expectations.
My mother has been and continues to be an inspiration for lifelong learning and growth. She left college as a full time student when she got pregnant, took classes when she could over the next 40 years while she raised 6 children and worked outside the home, and received her BA at the age of 60. She took up yoga in her 60s, and now, at 78, is in three book clubs, is politically active and runs a B&B with my dad (79).
She started a gratitude practice a few years ago, and every day posts a list of five things she is grateful for on Facebook. Connie Johnson, San Francisco, CA
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!